Hope in Impacts

Since it's the new year, I decided to write a cliche new year post. Bare with me.. 

A couple of weeks ago James and I watched a really great movie. It talked about impacts; good and bad, literally and figuratively, and how these "impacts" lead to moments. I would like to share my impacts this past year. Some are personal but I am proud of who I am and where I am today.

- I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Something I will have my whole life. It's very painful at times but I have decided to beat the odds and go medication free.

- I try and be strong most of the time with this diagnosis, but it lead me to an unfortunate state of depression. However, I successfully detoxed from my antidepressants. 

-I tore my MCL doing a dance-move skiing.

-I got promoted to manager of a very successful barber shop and it became the top selling shop in the chain.

-I followed my heart, gave up that job and moved out of the state back to my home in Idaho.

-I reconnected with my Junior High sweetheart when I moved home. And now I get to spend eternity with him.

- I have found a love for hunting. (Comes with the new last name:))

-I have found true happiness.

These impacts have become some of my hardest but favorite moments. Because of these impacts, they have given me hope, self confidence, and trust. I am so greatful for the blessings and love my Savior has brought to me this past year.

Hope in Teachings

It has taken me forever to put into words this blog post. I hope it somewhat makes sense. 

So, in my life I can think back on tons of lectures. Some I remember some I choose not to.. Like on my grades or my love life etc. But there are some that have stuck with me through it all and I would like to share what I have taken from those. 

The first one is from my home girl Nana. 

First off. Isn't she the cutest thing in the world? I think so. I can remember being lectured all the time from her. Two sayings she would say to us countless times were, "many hands make light work" and "pretty is as pretty does." 

It's so true how work goes by so much faster when you have a little help. Boy I wish I would have been better at that growing up. "Pretty is as pretty does" now that one is one of the truest statements I have ever heard. You can see an incredibly pretty or handsome person but if they act ugly it's almost like they loose their attractiveness. 

The next one is from my dad.

If anyone knows my dad. They know how incredible he is and that he is who he is. My dad is my hero. He has no fear to try new things and no fear to fail or succeed. Something that my dad has taught me that has gotten me to where I am today, is to be myself and to be proud of who I am. Sometimes that's all that's kept me going. But because of that I have always had a strong will and knowledge of where I came from. I owe my father that one.

My momma is next.

My mom is also the cutest. She got it from her momma. My mom taught me to always pray. To never give up and that there always is something good coming our way. Sometimes it got annoying how optimistic she was but looking back I always needed that.

Then my sister.

This lady has taught me more than words can explain. She has more faith than anyone I know and has taught me to always have it. She is so positive and always looks on the bright side of any situation. I am forever grateful for her spirit she caries with her every day. 

Last. My bestie. James.

He has taught me how to love and trust.It sure wasn't an easy task I am sure, but he took in on without hesitation. I am forever grateful for his patience.

There is so much hope and teachings around us. Even in the bad. I have learned so much from my trials as well as my triumphs. Please, find teachings. They have been a saving grace to me over the years.

Hope in Others

Since forever I have always had a hard time trusting others. I don't think I have ever stood alone in this feeling. Everyone has gone through a trial in their lives that has brought them to having less hope or trust in others. But every once in awhile someone comes into your life and brings that sign of hope and trust back. Mine came into my life in the 9th grade.

Although I lost all of our pictures of us together in High School,the day of this picture changed my life forever. I had just moved home. To be honest, I didn't want to be there. My life, to some extent, was broken. I felt empty and I knew that I had to get out of the terrible funk I was in. I wanted to fish and I knew my friend James had just gotten home from his mission. We dated a little bit every year since Junior High. Cliche, I know, but I love the past we have spent together. From the phone calls that his family would listen in on because he didn't have a cell phone, to his pink polo he wore on our first date- I love every part of it.

When he came to the door to pick me up.. My first thought was "dang!" Haha!  He was so cute in his tight wranglers and more than anything, he glowed. He was so happy and it was from the light of Christ. That night was perfect. We were in the canyon and just talked and laughed and it was so romantic! Looking back I am surprised it actually was romantic because we suck at being romantic! Like bad. I knew that day that he was going to be in my life.

I was a mess though. I didn't want to let anyone into my life that couldn't handle it, so of coarse I was nervous. Heck, I just wanted a friend and the fact that we fished was a bonus!  But Heavenly Father had other plans. 

Things progressed quickly and I remember multiple nights where I knew he was the one. One was when I sat him down and told him why I was home.  I told him that I understand if he wanted to run... But he didn't. 

I had accepted a job in Utah before James and I started getting serious.  I figured that this would be a 'make it or break it" in our relationship.  And with my luck, I didn't think he would stay around. We had 3 weeks before I left, so we did everything fun we could think of including spontaneous cliff jumping with jeans on where he accidentally jumped on me!

 

And even though it hurt real bad. I loved every second we spent together and I was not looking forward to leaving at all.  The plan was to work till the end of the summer, which was 3 months and see where we were at by the end of that. 

I won't lie. It was hard. When I didn't cry at night on the phone, he did.  It was bad. I came home as much as possible. It got to the point where we knew we were going to get married. And then he asked me!

 

He welded that sign:) and re-enacted our first date. It was beyond perfect. It was even harder to go back to Utah.  Soo... I lasted one month:)

I moved back home and have never looked back. I never thought I would marry the guy that threw paper airplanes at me in English class. And I honestly didn't ever think I could be in love with someone so much, either. 

I want everyone reading this to smile.  Smile because there are others around you that love you.  Believe that our Heavenly Father has a plan for you.  He lets things fail so others will succeed. If I found hope in someone anyone can.

Hope in Promises

     I can remember making pinky promises in kindergarten. They were so simple but seemed to be life or death back then. As we grow up promises start to shape or break us - or both.

It seems like trials seem to also shape people, especially the ones that are centered around a promise. I recently found out that no matter the promise that is broken or the trial at hand, there are far larger promises that are guaranteed. These promises are from our Father in Heaven.

     I have learned lessons and seen more blessings and promises in the past couple months  than ever before. I would feel ungrateful if I didn't share them.

I have learned that our Heavenly Father knows everything we go through. I have felt pure comfort. I know that He sends angels to help lift us when we fall. I know that He sometimes uses us as his tools to show people the gospel. It isn't always easy and sometimes it hurts. But I also know that He pours blessing upon us when we have faith in him.

I promise to anyone reading this that there is hope. I promise that if you are hurting or feel alone there is always someone there and He is a simple prayer away. I promise that there are good people out there. I promise that love will find you. I promise that if you look at the bigger picture your goals and aspirations will become reality.

I pinky promise that no matter what~ there is hope and light at the end of the tunnel. Everything happens for a reason and it's all in His plan.

Hope in Courage

     Courage is defined as-the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, or pain,without fear but with bravery. Courage is something that takes a lot of strength from within you. It's something that is very honorable but when and why do we have courage?  I personally think that we have courage so we can become strong and so that we can show others and ourselves that we can overcome trials without bitterness and disappointment.

   The infamous Cinderella, like many of us, faced much hardship and tribulation. Her evil step mother inherited a beautiful house after Cinderella's father passed away. She got treated like a slave and was constantly mocked by her step sisters. However, Cinderella had dreams. She had goals and she was going to obtain them.  Finally Cinderella had a glimpse of hope. While everyone was at the ball she, as usual, was doing chores. Her godmother appeared to her and told her she had until midnight to go to the ball or else the magic would be undone. 

      Right then Cinderella had to build up courage. Like Cinderella, we all have our own trials. We have to decide how we are going to let them affect us. Are we going to let them constantly bring us down or are we going to face them with a courageous outlook and conquer them? 

     Sometimes it's the smallest things that are the hardest be courageous about. Sometimes it's going out in public, or having a talk with a friend or loved one. No matter how large or small the situation is, at times we all need courage. I have found that if you believe in yourself and have the big picture in mind, it comes a lot easier.

     After you take a big courageous step there is a certain amount of freedom released. It's a wonderful feeling. I promise there is hope with having courage. I challenge you to take a leap of courage. Find hope in it. Your outlook on life and your day will change and you will feel amazing. Tell someone you love them. Go out in pubic. Take risks. Its Worth it. Someone will find your glass slipper.

  

Hope in You

"You are strong Olivia. You can do this." Those are the words that I literally would say out loud to myself every day. I don't really know why I would say them. I didn't feel strong and I didn't think I could do it. I was in beauty school at the time and it is ironic because I felt like I was the opposite of "beauty". I counted down the days until I would be done and could
rebuild myself, so to say. I remember my last day and the amazing feeling I had when I was done. I had tears running down my face as I left and I knew I would never go back.

"Come on Olivia you can do this." I found myself saying this again. This time it was different. I felt weak but I knew I was strong but I just was scared and having a weak moment. This time I was in scrubs waiting to go get an MRI for my back. As they took me back may things were going through my head-- I want my mom. What are the results going to be? I want the results now. 

Once again. "Olivia you are strong." This time I was weak. I was pretty much at my whits end. Questions and thoughts ran through my head. "Why me?" "You are 21 with fibromyalgia." "You will never feel better."

A thought came to me this week. I am strong. I am 21, and a heck of 21 year old!  And I can do this.

Life is tough. At times you may feel weak and like you can't do it. But guess what?  You did it and are doing it. You, yes you, have overcome so much. No matter how hard the journey has been. No matter the bad thoughts,  no matter the frightened moments, there is something that has endured it all. And that is you. You have decided that whatever choices you have made or bad mistakes you have chosen,  you aren't going to let it rule your life.

To anyone reading this, you are amazing. Tell yourself out loud daily. You are strong. And no matter what --there is always hope. Hope for the future, hope for now, and hope in you.

Hope in Luck

     I have always had the worst luck. I am actually known for it!   For example, my brother and sister decided to take me mountain biking.. seemed fun. They are both super fit and I had recently lost weight so I thought "what the hay?"  Long story short, the brakes went out on my sister's bike I was using. I was going down hill and I went over the handle bars, cutting my leg on the chain!   In  a more recent "bad luck" story I tore my MCL skiing.  Sounds ligit, right? Well, I was skiing but I was actually dancing and tripped with my skis on.  Rather embarrassing!
     When I made the move to Provo my mom gave me a sign that says, "The harder you work, the luckier you get." We all laughed because I think of my life as quite comical. However I really have loved it and it has been a constant reminder to me.
     Since I have been in Provo I have been working super hard. I have been hoping that someone would notice. And I know that sounds selfish of me, but with how much my body hurts on a daily basis it would mean so much. I have recently been lucky. I got promoted.  Luck?  Nope.
     I kept catching myself saying how lucky I was. It wasn't luck. It, in fact, was a blessing. I think sometimes we get so caught up in all of the negative things in life. It is SO easy to do this. Why? Because a lot of the time these negative things seem so huge and they affect us or sometimes there seems to be more negative things engulfing us than positive. Our Father in Heaven doesn't give us ANYTHING that He knows we can't concur or endure.
     He gives us "bad luck" for us to realize the good. He gives us good so we will be grateful for the bad times that helped us get to those good times. He gave me Fibromyalgia so I can realize how precious my body is. I used to think of it as a curse. But, shame on me for ever having that cross my mind. I am so blessed. I have never in my life been so grateful for everything I have and everything that I took for granted. I now look at "Luck" differently. For anyone struggling in the luck department, I challenge you to work. Work so hard at whatever is hard for you in your life.  I promise you that you will find blessings pour down on you.  Support will begin to surround you.
     I have felt more loved these past few months  than I have in my entire life. Thank you. Thank you for caring for me enough to read this. Thank you for being there when I feel weak. Thank you for making me realize that luck doesn't just come but it is something you have to work for. But most of all thank you to my Father in Heaven for giving me defeat, trials, and hard times so I realized how truly blessed I am.