Hope in Courage

     Courage is defined as-the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, or pain,without fear but with bravery. Courage is something that takes a lot of strength from within you. It's something that is very honorable but when and why do we have courage?  I personally think that we have courage so we can become strong and so that we can show others and ourselves that we can overcome trials without bitterness and disappointment.

   The infamous Cinderella, like many of us, faced much hardship and tribulation. Her evil step mother inherited a beautiful house after Cinderella's father passed away. She got treated like a slave and was constantly mocked by her step sisters. However, Cinderella had dreams. She had goals and she was going to obtain them.  Finally Cinderella had a glimpse of hope. While everyone was at the ball she, as usual, was doing chores. Her godmother appeared to her and told her she had until midnight to go to the ball or else the magic would be undone. 

      Right then Cinderella had to build up courage. Like Cinderella, we all have our own trials. We have to decide how we are going to let them affect us. Are we going to let them constantly bring us down or are we going to face them with a courageous outlook and conquer them? 

     Sometimes it's the smallest things that are the hardest be courageous about. Sometimes it's going out in public, or having a talk with a friend or loved one. No matter how large or small the situation is, at times we all need courage. I have found that if you believe in yourself and have the big picture in mind, it comes a lot easier.

     After you take a big courageous step there is a certain amount of freedom released. It's a wonderful feeling. I promise there is hope with having courage. I challenge you to take a leap of courage. Find hope in it. Your outlook on life and your day will change and you will feel amazing. Tell someone you love them. Go out in pubic. Take risks. Its Worth it. Someone will find your glass slipper.

  

Hope in You

"You are strong Olivia. You can do this." Those are the words that I literally would say out loud to myself every day. I don't really know why I would say them. I didn't feel strong and I didn't think I could do it. I was in beauty school at the time and it is ironic because I felt like I was the opposite of "beauty". I counted down the days until I would be done and could
rebuild myself, so to say. I remember my last day and the amazing feeling I had when I was done. I had tears running down my face as I left and I knew I would never go back.

"Come on Olivia you can do this." I found myself saying this again. This time it was different. I felt weak but I knew I was strong but I just was scared and having a weak moment. This time I was in scrubs waiting to go get an MRI for my back. As they took me back may things were going through my head-- I want my mom. What are the results going to be? I want the results now. 

Once again. "Olivia you are strong." This time I was weak. I was pretty much at my whits end. Questions and thoughts ran through my head. "Why me?" "You are 21 with fibromyalgia." "You will never feel better."

A thought came to me this week. I am strong. I am 21, and a heck of 21 year old!  And I can do this.

Life is tough. At times you may feel weak and like you can't do it. But guess what?  You did it and are doing it. You, yes you, have overcome so much. No matter how hard the journey has been. No matter the bad thoughts,  no matter the frightened moments, there is something that has endured it all. And that is you. You have decided that whatever choices you have made or bad mistakes you have chosen,  you aren't going to let it rule your life.

To anyone reading this, you are amazing. Tell yourself out loud daily. You are strong. And no matter what --there is always hope. Hope for the future, hope for now, and hope in you.

Hope in Luck

     I have always had the worst luck. I am actually known for it!   For example, my brother and sister decided to take me mountain biking.. seemed fun. They are both super fit and I had recently lost weight so I thought "what the hay?"  Long story short, the brakes went out on my sister's bike I was using. I was going down hill and I went over the handle bars, cutting my leg on the chain!   In  a more recent "bad luck" story I tore my MCL skiing.  Sounds ligit, right? Well, I was skiing but I was actually dancing and tripped with my skis on.  Rather embarrassing!
     When I made the move to Provo my mom gave me a sign that says, "The harder you work, the luckier you get." We all laughed because I think of my life as quite comical. However I really have loved it and it has been a constant reminder to me.
     Since I have been in Provo I have been working super hard. I have been hoping that someone would notice. And I know that sounds selfish of me, but with how much my body hurts on a daily basis it would mean so much. I have recently been lucky. I got promoted.  Luck?  Nope.
     I kept catching myself saying how lucky I was. It wasn't luck. It, in fact, was a blessing. I think sometimes we get so caught up in all of the negative things in life. It is SO easy to do this. Why? Because a lot of the time these negative things seem so huge and they affect us or sometimes there seems to be more negative things engulfing us than positive. Our Father in Heaven doesn't give us ANYTHING that He knows we can't concur or endure.
     He gives us "bad luck" for us to realize the good. He gives us good so we will be grateful for the bad times that helped us get to those good times. He gave me Fibromyalgia so I can realize how precious my body is. I used to think of it as a curse. But, shame on me for ever having that cross my mind. I am so blessed. I have never in my life been so grateful for everything I have and everything that I took for granted. I now look at "Luck" differently. For anyone struggling in the luck department, I challenge you to work. Work so hard at whatever is hard for you in your life.  I promise you that you will find blessings pour down on you.  Support will begin to surround you.
     I have felt more loved these past few months  than I have in my entire life. Thank you. Thank you for caring for me enough to read this. Thank you for being there when I feel weak. Thank you for making me realize that luck doesn't just come but it is something you have to work for. But most of all thank you to my Father in Heaven for giving me defeat, trials, and hard times so I realized how truly blessed I am.

Hope in Battles

     The lady walking beside you just got diagnosed with breast cancer and it has spread too far to treat.  The man that just cut you off earlier got the news that he was let go from his job and has 5 kids at home to feed.  The teenager that you waited for to cross the street has severe depression and could barely get out of bed.
     Everyone has battles that they face every day.  Some are more clear than others.  How many of us take time out of our day to give hope to those around us?  You never know what a simple act of kindness or service could do for somebody.  A poll was taken asking recovering suicidal people what would have changed their minds about suicide.  I was pretty surprised about the  majority of the answers.  They said a smile or a wave. Can you believe that?  That is something so simple.
     I remember one Sunday I really wasn't feeling well. I hadn't slept much the night before. I went to church but three hours was tough to sit.  This one boy that I had said hi to a few times came up to me and said, "You know Olivia, you make me so happy. Every time I see you it just makes me happy. Thanks." It touched me so much that I wrote down the date it happened and everything. On January 5th a simple compliment changed my entire day.
      My little brother, Rudy, used to say, " Imagine everyone is fighting the hardest battle and you are probably right." Ever since then it has changed my outlook on people around me . I wave at almost everyone I pass driving by.  I smile at people walking.  I am certainly not perfect at all and I have my bad days, probably more than others. But, I am also positive that the simple things make the biggest difference.
     That lady that I mentioned earlier? Someone told her how beautiful her eyes were. That man that cut you off?  Someone anonymously dropped of dinner at their house.  The teenager? Someone befriended her and sat by her at the lunch table.
     Battles at first seem so impossible.  There is hope.  Give hope out to people.  Smile, wave, and give compliments. You never know what they are going through.  You never know what kind of a difference you might make. 
    
     

Hope in Timing

     Our whole world is based on time. Time for appointments, soccer games, or shifts at work. Life is crazy and we only have 24 hours in one day. What about His timing?  Our Father in Heaven's timing, that is.

     I get so frustrated waiting.  When is life going to go like I want it?  That is completely the wrong attitude.  This week I have tried to look at time differently.

     Have you ever had something happen to you and you knew that it was supposed to happen?  I love looking at these things as tender mercies.  I remember moving to Provo.  I knew nobody and I was moving into my apartment.  I was taking loads upon loads of stuff  to my new place.  I had just worked 9 hours and I was getting really tired.  I remember saying a prayer, asking for somehow to have some help bringing my stuff in.  Out walks a beautiful girl.  She glowed and had such an amazing spirit about her.  She went and got friends and in 10 minutes I was done bringing my stuff in. Chance?  No. That was His timing. 

     Another kind of timing I want to share is the beauty of the non-importance of time. Each year my dad, siblings and I go on the Middle Fork of the Salmon River. It's 100 miles and my favorite place on the earth.   No cell phones, no cars.  Just good company and the beauty that surrounds us.  Time is forgotten.  It's amazing.  For 5 days we forget about worldly stuff and concentrate on the wonderful gifts that our Father in Heaven has given us.

     I challenge everyone reading this to find hope in timing, to recognize the tender mercies in our lives and to forget about time for just a bit.  I promise you that you will find amazing things around you.

Hope in Opportunity

     When we think of opportunity we think of chances or adventures we were offered to take. Whether it's a new job or a new place to live, we have to choose. We have to look at our lives and decide whether it's going to work or whether we are going to back out. It is so important to take chances and opportunities because they might not come by again. But, what about the things that happen in our lives that we don't decide to have? You know, the things that we hate or question-Why me? Well this week a light bulb went off for me.
     I was driving in my car during my lunch break at work. I was in a lot more pain than usual. I can usually deal with it and at least put a face on, but that day I couldn't hold it back. During my lunch break I had a huge pity party and did what most girls do, I called my mom. Tears were shared and motivational thoughts were exchanged. As my mom wished she could be there with me and told  me how proud she was of me, I felt hope. However, I still hurt and no matter what, I had to choose to change the effect it was having on me.
        I went back to work. I smiled and worked hard. Standing on my feet wasn't the best but I knew I could do it. When I got off work I was driving once again and I got a wonderful epiphany. How blessed and lucky am I that I get the opportunity to feel pain and suffer!  I know that probably sounds strange to people but I just felt so blessed. I get to feel a very minuscule part of what Jesus felt. I get to feel empty and alone like so many people in the world feel. I get to help people in a way that I would never have the opportunity to help.
     I challenge everyone who is reading to take the difficult things and hard trials in your life and look at them as opportunities. Opportunities to grow, to show hope, and to lift others up. We can't do this alone and no matter the circumstance or the pain that you are feeling now, there is hope. There are amazing opportunities coming your way. Just look around you. They are everywhere.
    

Hope in Patience

Patience has never really been my thing. I wish I was one of those chill, "come as it comes" people, but it didn't really come in my blood. As a little kid I was always really busy and into EVERYTHING. My patience, or rather lack of patience, truly showed in my young years as I went from project to project. My siblings would beg me to play Mario Party with them just so they could have four players. If I was doing bad, which was often, I would throw my controller across the room and turn off the TV, losing all of the progress. Needless to say, I had and still have a lot to work on!

Patience is defined as the ability to remain calm when waiting for a long time or when dealing with problems or difficult people. Nobody enjoys waiting. Waiting, I feel, does nothing but build a huge pit in your stomach. Sometimes waiting mends the heart,  when other times it destroys you. Hope is the one thing that minimizes your pit. No matter the situation~ there is always hope. This summer I had a couple really painful episodes with lower back pain. I had always been super accident prone so I figured I did something to it while I was messing around or something. I iced it and hoped for the best. The pain would come in spurts. I prayed and prayed for it to go away. But it didn't. My patience was pretty much non-existent. Tender mercies began to pour in. Hope was my main man, I felt like. After getting into a doctor that was near impossible to get into he couldn't figure it out right on the spot. X-RAYS were taken and still nothing. The next step was an MRI. As I went in to the most constricting place I have ever been, tears rolled down my face. I didn't have much hope any more. Church songs came to my mind. Patience was whispered in my head. As I waited nervously for the doctor to tell me the results, so many emotions ran through my body. Fear, hope, anxiety, and about everything in between. As I waited on that annoying paper on the bed in the doctor's office it felt like hours had passed. He finally came in. He pulled up the MRI and showed me that I had a slight tear in my lower back. He did some pressure point tests and gave me the verdict. "Well Olivia," he said, "You have Fibromyalgia." He then explained it as joint problems and chronic, wide spread pain through my entire body. Everything seemed to come together. For 8 years I was waiting for this day. Since I was 14 I have always known I was different and there it was. Patience. Patience is key. Hope. Hope is everything.